Burnt Pierogies

The pierogi is one of Eastern Europe’s most simple, yet delicious food menu items. These cheesy, potatoey pockets wrapped in a savory homemade dough are becoming more and more popular in the US. Cooking pierogies, however, can sometimes be a bit challenging.

Have you ever left your pierogies cooking longer than you should have? The buttery sweet taste your buds have been long-awaiting immediately become disembowled. Your smoke detector is now blaring, the neighbors are yelling, and all you’re left with a is charcoal mess in a pan.

This same type of disaster can happen to your fantasy football team. You start a player and continue to start him longer than you should because you’ve convinced yourself of his possible fantasy scoring potential. Or, maybe you’re in too deep? Meaning, if you decide to now bench that player, you “know” he will finally blow up in fantasy, leaving you and your fantasy livelihood in shambles.

Yet, come Sunday’s end, it’s the same sad story. The alternative player on your bench for that position once again outscores your starter and you end up getting burned for another loss in your fantasy league. It’s time for a change, my friend.

Here are my burnt pierogi players that need to be taken off the stove before it’s too late and you burn your goddamn house down, figuratively speaking.

Sterling Shepard

The first three games were great: averaged 78 receiving yards and scored 2 TDs. Weeks 4 and 5: had 6 catches for 44 yards combined. Shepard went from being a Petrosky pierogi to store brand within fourteen days.

DeVante Parker

Missed week 1 but came out and caught for 106 yards in week 2,along with 51 yards and a score in week 3. Last two weeks, Parker has just 4 catches and 90 receiving yards. Too many mouths to feed in Miami these days.

Tyler Lockett

Has not yet scored a touchdown through 4 games. He’s averaging a measly 3.2 fantasy points per game in standard leagues. If you start Lockett, you can only hope he has a return for a TD at this point. Feed this burnt pierogi to the neighbor’s dog

TJ Yeldon

Averaging 12 rushes for 39 yards through four games this season. Only 1 rush TD that happened in week one. Chris Ivory is now in the picture as well for the Jaguars. Yeldon’s pierogistock is on a downward spiral.

Duke Johnson Jr.

Hasn’t had double digit fantasy points in standard leagues through five games played. Browns offense is a disaster. Only start Duke Johnson if you REALLY need to. But don’t be shocked if you end up calling the fire department on this tasteless spud.

Listen or don’t. But remember, when in doubt, always go with your gut.

Tweet me with your fantasy questions at @eskorupa_PAS

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