I plan on writing a weekly blog on The Challenge Invasion, once the Invaders actually make an appearance. Until then, I’m just suffering through a cast of losers and fresh meat. I literally can’t explain how little of a shit, I give about any of the original 18 “underdogs.” My contempt varies from pure distain to “Okay, Tony’s not that bad, but I still could care less if he lives or dies.”
If last night taught us anything, it was that TJ Lavin fucking hates quitters. Always has and always will.
Let’s breakdown of the Underdog “cast.”
I’m going to go through The Challenge Invasion cast, underdog by underdog, and rate their chance of winning.
- Amanda
- No Chance
- This chick is from “Are You The One.” Not even a Real World or Road Rules cast member. I’m old. I don’t know what “Are You The One Is.” I’m pretty sure she was on the last season of the Challenge and I hated her then too. She’s a hot head and pops off at the mouth a lot.
- Anika
- ELIMINATED
- She’s gone. She was eliminated last night after being SUPER cocky and basically asking everyone to vote her in. Good riddance.
- Anthony
- Not A Good Chance
- Anthony is just kind of just there. He’s kind of like paint, he’s there, but you don’t really notice after awhile. He’s in good shape, but whatever. He’s another of these new “Are You The One” kids. Making me feel old. Get lost.
- Ashley M
- Decent if she sleeps with enough people – Oasis Secured
- Ashley AKA SMASHLEY. Ashley proved on Rivals III that she has some fight in here. Her entire game plan relies around flirting with people to stay alive and she’s not afraid to “poli-dicking” when necessary. Respect the craft. Good luck, Smashley. She literally just watched Hunter get her to the Oasis this week.
- Bruno
- ELIMINATED
- I don’t hate Bruno. Guy came into the Challenge Invasion as a homeless bum. He was living in his car and down on his luck. I guess being on reality TV and making an asshole of yourself doesn’t always equate to dollar signs. So, Bruno was a feel good story. I wanted to see him stick around. Alas, he’s gone. Not too much sweat as he’s a product of the shitty attempt to revitalize the Real World brand with the Skeleton’s experiment. It was a failure just like him.
- Cory
- Decent Chance – Oasis Secured
- Cory punched his ticket to the Oasis already. He’s safe, to that puts him a good shot. As far as the “underdogs” go, I’d rank him as the second most talented/athletic of the group.
- Dario
- Decent Chance / I hope he fails
- I hate Dario. He’s a scumbag in sheep’s clothing. He almost made it to the finals though on Rivals III. Almost doesn’t count. He also said that he lives on his friends couch and wakes up with dog hair in his eyes every day. Gotta hope he has to return to that. Right?
- Hunter
- Decent Chance Unfortunately – Oasis Secured
- I hate this dude. He’s got a thick, stupid southern accent. He’s kind of a walking piece of shit. He’s a rookie, so I’m hoping he slips up and gets eliminated early. For right now, we’re stuck with him. He and Smashley punched their tickets to the Oasis.
- Jenna
- Decent Chance / Always a Dark Horse – Oasis Secured
- Jenna always performs strong. She just always come up a little short. But, she knows how to hang around in these competitions. She proved her worth last night and punched her ticket to the Oasis. She’s safe – for now.
- Kailah
- Decent, for now / will likely mess it up – Oasis Secured
- I like Kailah. I hate how she spells her name. But, I like her. She came in, pissed everyone off, got voted into an elimination on the second day, won the elimination and gave everyone a middle finger. Good for her. She’ll likely mess it up, though.
- LaToya
- Poor
- LaToya’s from Real World St. Thomas. She’s from a not-that-memorable season of Real World, she’s not-that-memorable herself and I see an early exit for her. She messed with strong competitors and has now found herself on the wrong side of people who have nothing to lose. Peace ‘Toya.
- Marie
- Eliminated
- The years have not been kind to Marie. I didn’t even recognize her. Oh well, she’s also from the forgettable St. Thomas season. I’ve already forgotten she was on this season too.
- Nelson
- Went form looking good to terrible really quick last night
- I don’t like Nelson. I’m not sure where he’s from. He looks older, but I can’t figure out what he’s from? Anyway, he formed a strong alliance week 1 and it’s sense been systematically destroyed. They got rid of Theo. He’s up next.
- Nicole
- Good – Oasis Secured
- I like Nicole, she’s a little spitfire. Her Long Island accent makes me want to vomit, but aside from that, she’s cool in my book. I’m rooting for her above all other female underdogs. She dominated the first Challenge and had easy street from here on out.
- Shane
- Not Good
- I’ve always hated Shane. I think he’s been on about five challenges. He goes way back, back to the days when CT eliminated him in a cookie and milk challenge. Turns out this chump is lactose intolerant. Psssh. Later, Shane.
- Sylvia
- Not Good
- Sylvia is a giant piece of shit. She’s a traitor, she’s a liar and she’s a coward. She sold out her own cast mate, Tony on week one, because she thought she was saving her own ass. She cried while doing it. If you’re going to be the bad guy, just be the bad guy. Dork. Last night, the entire script got flipped on her. She’s screwed now.
- Tony
- Best Odds of the Underdogs – Oasis Secured
- I’ve never been a big Tony guy. He’s alright, I guess. I kind of hate Camila. But, he was kind of a psycho on Rivals III and got kicked off. It’s never cool to get aggressive with a female like that. He’s got two kids now and I think they made him agree not to drink if he was going to come back. So, he has a reason to win. They’re afraid of him. They tried to get rid of him early and it backfired. #TeamTony
- Theo
- ELIMINATED
- I don’t even know what Real World: Bad Blood is. So, fuck this dude. But, all he did was talk about being a division 1 athlete and getting kicked out of college for some weed. Then, all he has to do is jump off something high and he quits. Just straight up quits. TJ hates you and so do I. Chump.
The Invaders
- CT – He’s the GOAT. The best “character” ever to be Real World, Road Rules or the Challenge. He’ll win every fight. He’ll smash your head and eat it. He’s the best ever. He’d have at least three more championships if he didn’t get kicked off for almost murdering people.
- Johnny Bananas – He’s the GOAT if you count winning the most.
- Darrell – Darrell is looking old as shit. Because, he’s old as shit
- Camila – Hate Camila. If she can be eliminated, do it soon.
- Laurel – I’m not 100% sure that Laurel isn’t a dude. The verdict is still out.
- Zach – Zach’s grown on me over the years. Hated him. Loved him. Hated him again. Now, I’m kid of indifferent. If nothing else he’ll mess with Jenna’s head and get her off her game. Oh, he’s also like a super freak of a human, buddy builder.
- Ashley K – Ashley’s from Real World San Diego, she’s batting a million. She did one Challenge. Won that shit and never looked back. Good for her.
- Cara Maria – It’s not fo Cara Maria to take time out from being a vampire to be part of the show. I don’t hate her. But she’s clearly insane and make me feel uncomfortable. But, if she’s still willing to look like she’s in a My Chemical Romance video, she clearly has dedication.
I don’t quite know if I should rank these guys or not. I’m not sure what happens when they’re actually on the show. I’ve been watching clips of them in the gym for three episodes now. Kind of getting annoyed. But, if I had to pick someone to win, it’s clearly CT. Followed up by Bananas.
Wake me up when CT is on the TV again.
I’ll just leave you with this…