Bobby “The Brain” Heenan once said “There’s nothing more dangerous than a pissed off Undertaker!”. If Heenan were announcing football he would probably say something very similar about Aaron Rodgers.
There is nothing more scary than a motivated and angry, Aaron Rodgers. Provoked by vengeance for those who forget he is not only a league MVP and Superbowl champion, but also one of the best individual players in the game. Individual being the key word. Aaron is singular in his world. Fueled by disdain for his family and contempt for his ‘Bachelorette’ winning brother, Aaron has chosen to isolate himself.
Now, you’re probably asking yourself.
“Serniak, we know about the rocky relationship Rodgers has with his family, but how could this positively affect him now?”
The answer is simple. The holiday season is upon us and that reminds Aaron how much more his parents love his little brother Jordan. Those of us with younger siblings, probably know the feeling of parents who show more sympathy and favoritism toward the child they, more than likely, had because they weren’t satisfied with you.
It’s been reported that Rodgers skipped his grandfather’s funeral. This seems like a cold move, but if you think about, there’s no better way to overcome a tragedy than to not let it affect your daily life. Like when a terrorist attack happens, we always say the terrorist will never win because we won’t let them affect our way of life. Now, I’m not saying that Aaron’s grandfather was part of some sleeper cell (deep joke in there) I’m just saying that football players are creatures of habit and attending a funeral kind of gets in the way of watching film on the Lion’s secondary. Based on the fact Rodgers grandfather was an old-school guy from a “tougher generation” he’d probably understand. Grandpa would never stand, or in this case lay, in the way of Aaron putting food on the table for his family. Even if his table is twenty-four feet long and sits in a 5500-square foot dining room, deep within his 20000-square foot mansion.
Many reports are saying that the real reason behind Rodgers disdain for his family is his girlfriend Olivia Munn. You know, Psylocke from X-men. Can’t say I blame him, I would hate my family too for a crack at her love. Who wouldn’t love a woman who has the power of telekinesis. It appears that same power to move things with her mind works in real life too. Think about it, she could get Aaron to move on from his family.
So why does all this spell bad news for the NFC North? Because during this holiday season Rodgers is set to show his blood relatives exactly why he should be sitting forefront of the adult table at parties (not that he would ever show up for one of these gatherings anyway). Unfortunately, for the Lions and Vikings they will only be collateral damage in A A Ron’s quest to show his family which Rodgers brother is truly the better man. The Eagles were the first opponent Rodgers took out in a body bag. The Texans are the latest to get a tombstone piledriver and enter the concussion protocol. While most of us will be falling into the trap of holiday cheer, Rodgers will be demonstrating the real meaning of the holiday spirit by showing Ebenezer Scrooge how to bitch slap that ghost of Christmas future with a dose of reality (without the rose ceremony). Aaron doesn’t need his family for handouts, in fact he doesn’t need his family at all. So, as you watch Rodgers play angry and determined the rest of the season, remember why.
It also must be said that The Giant Gonzalez debuted during the 93 Rumble and tossed out the Undertaker(illegally). Not that Matt Stafford and Sam Bradford are Giant Gonzalez, just saying they’re alive.
-Serniak