My week 10 fantasy football advice spotlights penny candy and veterans—football veterans that is. The old faithfuls that continue to exceed expectations and exhibit quality production year after year at low fantasy cost. Those guys. The ageless wonders of fantasy football.
If you have a sweet tooth, you have a favorite brand of candy. The familiar flavor that whisks you back to a more simple time in your life. The nostalgic taste of say, a Bit-O-Honey, rekindles adolescent memories of your past.
After spending the estimated three to five minutes it takes to successfully remove the waxy wrapper from your Bit-O-Honey, you carefully analyze the sugary brown clump making sure no paper pieces are still lingering. You then pop that sucker into your mouth and begin your journey down memory lane. Your jawbone slowly starts to ache as a wheelbarrow full of questions pours into that giant melon of yours…
“Why is this candy as hard as a rock? Is it stale? This doesn’t taste like honey. Nothing at all like honey. The wrapper says it should but it doesn’t. Why am I being lied to? What have I done to deserve all this?!?”
Not many edibles these days maintain their value over such a period of time quite like those cheap little diabetes-inducing tablets of fun. Newer, bigger, brighter candies are introduced to the world every year. Some live up to their expectations while others fail miserably. The same relates to fantasy football.
For every new football season that comes, memories of our fantasy studs from yesteryear dwindle further away. It’s those rare special players standing up to the test of time by flipping mortality the bird that you tend to remember most. These individuals deserve praise and recognition for their years of service, durability, and solid play.
Do not give up and sell out on these geriatric fantasy scorers if you have them on your team. Sure their kneecaps might be duct taped on, and yes, maybe their heads have taken more beatings than a truck stop toilet seat, but trusting the experience and knowledge of your old hand fantasy players will lead you and your fantasy team down the road to victory.
Larry Fitzgerald, age 33: 69 years old in football years
-Stat line of 56/554/5 through 8 games
-Tied for 9th in the league in targets and solo 3rd in receptions as of week 9
Frank Gore, age 33: 78 years old in Running Back years
-Top 10 in rush attempts amongst all running backs
-Top 10 in total touchdowns amongst all running backs
Steve Smith Sr., age 37: 90 years old in Wide Receiver years
-In the 5 full games Smith Sr. has played this year, Ravens’ record is 4-1
-A minor ankle injury kept him sidelined for a couple weeks but he came back healthy after the bye week
Matt Bryant, age 41: 41 years old in Kicker years
-Leads all kickers in fantasy points
-20 for 21 in field goals and 31 for 31 in extra points this season
Play these old bastards and your team is bound for success. That’s my advice to you. And remember, whenever you’re in doubt, always go with your gut!