A Week 5 fantasy football rant by Paulie Bagga Walnuts:
Fantasy owners went crazy;
Week 5 was a mess.
Who was next to get hurt;
Was anyone’s guess.
Some running backs were studs;
From DJ to Shady.
But everyone was overshadowed;
By an asshole named Brady.
His dominance came swift;
His owners will brag.
Top quarterback this week,
And the f**ker has swag!!
Zeke Elliott and TY;
Went HAM, I’ll admit.
But Julio and AJ??
Yeah they were just shit!
Odell was so busy;
Making out with a net.
Still better than Lamar Miller;
Who’s name we’ll forget.
When the week was all over;
Martellus broke out,
Now we all have to hope;
that the bastard gets gout.
I’ll close out week 5;
With one final blast.
Don’t be so high on the Eagles,
Wentz’s bullshit won’t last.
– This is the word of the Walnut