As I sit here scouring stat after stat, article after article about week 6 fantasy football advice, the once cool ceramic seat below me has now exceeded my body temperature; my feet numb, my legs embraced with a full state of paralysis. I attempt to stand but immediately collapse to the tile floor in angst. Deep down I know this immobility is temporary but anxiety still looms throughout my body. There is nowhere for me to go, nothing I can do. I feel meaningless, motionless, nothingness…
…I now understand what it must feel like to be a Cleveland Browns’ fan.
It’s hard to grasp the reality that nearly 1/3 of the football season is over; even more depressing, the fact that the fantasy regular season is approaching its halfway point. If your fantasy team has had a slower start than expected, now is a critical turnaround point to your season. I am referring to teams with head-to-head records of 2-3 or 1-4. If you’re 0-5, I’m not here to give you any false hope. You should probably start to consider a better way to spend your Sunday afternoons. Maybe scrapbooking. I hear that’s a thing now. But if you’re still hopeful and you want your late-blooming fantasy roster to start hitting its stride, players are going to need to step it up a notch. Maybe, just maybe, my advice is the optimistic medicine your team needs.
Sleepless in Seattle
Meg Ryan, I’m sorry, Matt Ryan and the Atlanta Falcons travel to Seattle to take on the Seahawks in the great state of Washington. I am not sure what makes it so great. It seems rainy there. I guess it’s just a nice compliment to give.
The two NFC division leaders will battle Sunday afternoon. The Seahawks, coming off their bye, will be ready to put a halt to the Falcons’ offense that is scoring on average over 30 points per game. The Seahawks’ defense, especially at home, is one of the best in football. I do not expect much of the Falcons’ offense, at any position, to put up anything above mediocre fantasy points this week. Ryan, Jones, Freeman, Coleman. As owners, we’ve come to expect consistent fantasy production from Atlanta’s top four notables; get ready for a big letdown week six.
Owners, do not hesitate to start Seahawk’s defense on Sunday afternoon. Seattle’s CenturyLink Field is in the Guinness Book of World Records for loudest stadium crowd ever recorded. The infamous “12th man” will be in attendance Sunday and will rain on Atlanta’s winning streak parade just like that one family member who shows up belligerently drunk to family parties; hits on your sister, pisses himself, and then passes out in the neighbor’s flowerbed ruining Aunt Betty’s lovely celebration. It’s almost unfair.
Cincinnati Bowtie
Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski make a terrific pair. “They went together like lamb and tuna fish. Or maybe you like spaghetti and meatball? You more comfortable with that analogy?” I am not sure what Nazo the deliveryman’s ethnic background was from Adam Sandler’s 1999 flick, Big Daddy, but comparing the characters Sonny and Julian to lamb and tuna fish to a courtroom jury must mean they complement each other in an exceptional way…well, at least in some cultures.
During the six years playing together, Brady and Gronkowski have connected for 64 regular season touchdowns…and that’s with Gronk only averaging 13 games per season. It will not be long before they connect in 2016. It will be a fantasy blessing, especially for Gronkowski owners, when these two pick up where they left off from previous years.
New England travels to Cincinnati in week six. There is something fierce brewing in the Queen City for the Brady/Gronkowski duo, and it is not just the rancid stench of the Ohio River Basin. Gronk will score his first (and maybe second) touchdown of the year this week.
Kansas City Carwash
Finally! No seriously, finally. Jamaal Charles is expected to return to the field week six for the first time this season. Will he play? Or, won’t he? That’s what I’ve asked myself week in and week out about the Kansas City Chiefs’ star running back. Luckily for me, and hopefully for other Charles’ owners, I was able to handcuff Spencer Ware with a late round draft pick. It has panned out so far but now I’m in a similar predicament. Will he start? Or, won’t he?
Ware has earned himself the role of the lead back, but how much will Charles impact Ware’s carries and touches in week six going forward? Will they split time on the field 50/50? Unless one breaks free for a long score, they will likely eat into each other’s fantasy value.
As of right now, I am starting Spencer Ware. Until Charles gets settled back into the Chiefs’ offense and proves his value, Ware should continue to get a higher percentage of touches and serve as the main back. That being said, it would definitely not surprise me if Charles poached a goal line touchdown this week making all of us Ware owners want to throw something flimsy, like a phone, against something hard, like a wall.
Remember the Titans?
Any Tennessee Titans fans out there reading this? *Cue crickets* Besides DeMarco Murray, not much fantasy significance going on so far this season for the Titans. That’s about to turn (cover your ears) the fug around. Marcus Mariota proved last week in Miami that he can provide fantasy value as a solid QB2.
The Titans’ upcoming schedule looks great for their offense…home against Cleveland, Indianapolis, and Jacksonville then away in San Diego. He has his main target, Delanie Walker, back and healthy. Although he has not reached that threshold of 300 passing yards in a game this season, this will be the week he does so, and possibly even a few more times over the next 4-6 weeks.
Look for Mariota and the Titans to make some fantasy noise sooner than later. If you’re in need of a bye week filler at the wide receiver position, keep an eye out for either Tajae Sharpe or Rishard Matthews. Both players will benefit nicely from the favorable defensive matchups the Titans will be facing.
That’s all I got. Good luck readers! And as a wise man once said, “When it comes to fantasy football, when in doubt, always go with your gut”. That wise man was me.
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